"I don't know why, if there's a teacher I'll remember for the good things in this school, she's the one."
It's not as if she did anything spectacular to us but it's like somehow her never-give up on our class spirit has always been there despite all the nonsense we gave her. I wasn't even half upset about my results and actually was thinking about losing her and her unlike my heartless classmates -gasp-. I'm glad she's glad and I swear the new Chem tutor is gonna get us all killed(or at least she's gonna kill us all first). Mr Chan, save me. I'm actually quite upset about all these and all I could say is the school really sucks and I'm never (if I ever have the chance) gonna send my kids to this school.

Why is it that we only cherish things only when they're gone and complain way too much about them when they're still around and at it. I've been contemplating over this for the whole weekend already and I figured it's part and parcel of human nature, it's something I couldn't possibly consciously tell myself that I could get over and done with.

I've been reflecting a lot on what went wrong and everything. Then, I realised the most scary part is that I don't quite know where I'm going wrong at (after practising a thousand times for Chem and Math), I still don't quite know where I'm lacking in. Still, I couldn't half believe that I left a 10 marks qn in Case study blank and didn't finish 2 essays, maybe that's why I failed. Well, at least I had more ticks in my answers this time rather than the last time, shows that I'm thinking and really it's a good improvement, or so I would like to think. It's a bit like stop kidding yourself even though everyone in the world may console you and say it's okay, but deep down inside you know it's not even half okay and you wouldn't tell anyone the misery you face because misery aren't supposed to be told outright to anyone. And think of it, who the hell goes up to people telling them about their misery. You may just look pathetic and all and maybe trying to gain sympathy out of it all. So, someone hear me now.

I've have been indulging myself in Secondhand Serenade songs which I conveniently downloaded the whole new album off the net and it gets increasingly angsty with it playing in the background when I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong. The whole reason behind the band name was quite interesting though and I never bothered to find out until now.

Is there anybody out there
Am I swimming through this empty sea alone,
Am I looking for an answer,
or am I trying to find a way to get back home,
Is there anybody out there,
Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried,
I am looking for an answer,
And just trying to find a way to survive,
a way to survive,
and I am holding on.

This is why I get all angsty at night. Also, I've been watching excessively amount of TV to the point I on and off my comp 3 times because I want to blog but I'm too lazy watching TV and not bothering..

I drank myself to sleep on Friday. I like the warm feeling of alcohol burning in your throat cause it makes you feel warm on the inside even though it's a cold world outside filled with cold people. And it's a generally known principle in my life that I won't bother about people that aren't worth bothering about and being nice to people who aren't nice to me in the first place.

Yesterday, I was at the top of the world (literally). 70th floor above ground level and I wasn't quite feeling anything. I feel so disappointed at myself for not being able to do anything whenever I'm so overwhelmed. The roof top of the IR looked vaguely like a ship though.

If there's one thing that makes me happy, it's sweet stuff.

Labels: Agony, Secondhand Serenade