I've been quite fail at blogging these few days. The title of this post changed from Take me Away to Are you Worth the fight to Apologies, Glances, Messed Up Chances to this and has been left hanging since Wednesday.

YesterdayWednesday, interview was so so tiring that I crashed when I reached home. I gave up asking questions after a while, though I think I shot Kevin down. His like a big air-head that got poked and he just flew. I was increasingly disappointed at some people albeit they reminded me of myself a year ago in the same position. Well, at least I knew what I wanted. I feel like stabbing him sigh. Maybe, I shouldn't care about him. He makes me feel that I don't even know whether I should fight for him, only I should do the same thing because my senior did it for me. Someone you think you can fight for, that person must have really meant a lot. But I guess it can't be helped. On the other hand, I'm quite happy with Rebekah as the new secretary ^^ I think I secretly(or not so) liked her as a secretary from the start and only as a secretary, just the way that she is, to the point I guess I'm getting a lot biased, thinking of reasons just to justify for it. Sigh. I think from the start, I've never thought of anyone else. Okay, this is getting out of hand.

When it boils down to specific. I think it's very sad for people like Chee An. Like he was the president of his club which shows that he should have the potential of handling a leadership position but he changed so much that I don't even know him anymore. It's kinda sad because if it's due to the influence of a particular someone over him, he really did screw his character upside down. I really don't know what happened between them but I really hope nothing will go wrong with him.

I think Mrs Loh favours An Hua because she's afraid that his the quiet kind and yet still can work. Probably, preventing the same thing from happening again. Still, makes me think are we all that unable to get over the 'I favour at least someone mentality'.

Jia An almost landed me up in the hospital. Sometimes, I feel so much like strangling him. 0 optimist, 100 pessimist. Though I would say I'm any better, but I think no matter what still much better than him. You can throw him a 100 arguments (and I think we actually did) and he still continues to find another reason to rebut it. I'm tired, really, all the while since June camp, I've been telling him stuff and he doesn't seem to be performing up to expectations. I don't know what more I can do to help him anymore. I hope his worth my Lit essay and GP AQ. I wasted spent the previous night talking to him, ending up doing my Lit essay during my blueslip. I'm sorry I don't know how to help you.

Pretty much okay with the rest. I think Tim still thinks he has a chance with the EXCO. I really feel like kicking him out, though I think it should be left to the next stressed up president to do it.

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Gym + Bathing + Lit Essay + blueslip + PassionAC + Standing at the lights console = dead.

It's been a tiring day/week.

I want someone to share my secrets with, someone to talk to late at night when I can’t sleep, someone who feels comfortable around my family, someone to comfort me when I’m scared, to be there when I’m sad, someone who doesn’t need to say that she loves me for me to know it’s true.

Yesterday was in one heck of a time trying to tell myself to get over you and not get so distracted. Glances, looks, messed up chances. I don't know what's right and wrong anymore.

"Wq, should we speed walk?"
-brisk walks-
"There's something there!" -points to patch of darkness-
-Screams and scratches-

I think I deserve it. But still, it was like night walk part 2 lolol. Only difference was she was holding on to my arm instead of my shirt so tightly this time. Last year, night walk was so so exciting cause of her screaming and what nots lolol.

Which makes me think. I want the girl that I liked to hold on to me tightly when she's scared and don't know what to do and not shaft me away. AF was blabbering nonsense about marriage and made me think about it. I think I'll never get married either. I mean I've been this passive since I don't know when. Don't know if it was because of what happened. At this rate I'm going, I really don't know where I'm going ):

If you have to try and convince yourself that you don’t care about someone, you probably care about them more than you realize it.

So screw it, tell me what should I do.

Labels: MRC