Terms are finally over, like omg finally>_> It ended with an hour filled with mind-blowing lit essay, which i didn't mention any literary techniques (fancy calling myself a lit student). So gonna flunk it XD

"This is the worst exam of my life!"

Wonder who said that, was it cheryl or was it jas. x.x Anyway, i so totally agree with that, omg. I've never felt so helpless in any exams before. Like totally dunno what to do, how to do and what am i doing. Like seriously?.. And i guess it has got to be the worst prepared exam i ever went for in my life, maybe cause i've been slacking way too much :x But ahh, i hope i just pass them all, like just pass, i can't wish for anything more. I'm scared.

Self entertained myself with MRC night walk videos like after exams though was intending to have an hour of sleep before going home until i met yi wei>_> He on-ed the mac for me and so i guessed i watched like loads of entertaining videos, including how retarded the MRC promo video was :x 19 more days before handover, i felt like we're still not very prepared for handover yet, especially in terms of skills and stuff (We can't even fix our own stuff like the mac to speakers and internet in the room), how on earth are we gonna fix stuff like LT system hahaha. And i went to check my oral schedule, it's like freaking 10 days from now and i haven't been speaking much chinese, woah shit like ttly. I'm scared.

Relationships are fragile. I'm not saying this cause something happened to me but rather someone close to me. Even love can't bond 2 person together, what can i say? Sometimes the truth is just a lie and forever runs out of time. When someone promises you to be with you forever and ever, the irony lies in what happens a year or 2 later. Forever just dun apply anymore. It's quite sad actually, 2 years of relationship ending just like this, like a word of goodbye, with "Okay." marking the end of all of it. I feel sad for my friend, or at least i'm being affected by this sudden event that took place in this person's life. And i can't seem to do anything to help, just hope that it'll all be okay for him, like how the sun still shines after the shower. I'm scared.

It made me fear the impending future. Because i don't know what's gonna happen, even if i choose to follow what i call my instinct, more of my feelings. Everyone have their own fears to overcome, for me, it's the fear of the future, cause i don't know what it holds for me. What happens today builds tomorrow, but at the same time, i'm afraid that today destroys my tomorrow. Tell me what to do, someone. I'm lost in the never ending possibility of what's gonna happen. Even if you know what's gonna happen will break your heart, your life, will you still continue to do what you believe in? For once, i thought it was a definite yes, but now, it all changes, i'm unsure. Not sure of what i possibly define as love, as beautiful, as forever, as the person that'll be with me for life. It's only a matter of time, that i'll feel lost again. Give me strength, for you are the compass of my life. I'm scared.

I don't know what's right and wrong
not anymore.

Labels: Exams, Fear, Scared