Sat've been spent half day in school. We did like the History Essay Event, or whatever it's being called (cause i'm feeling super tired now and wq wants me to update). So yeah, in between no one was needed exactly to tend the event.. And so we decided to take Leon(a) to learn some morning assembly basic stuff. And i think she kinda of reminded me of myself when i first stepped into MRC i was like who what huh?-.- Especially during the March camp, it was like half the time information overload and the other half trying to figure out what my seniors were talking about.. And i must say YL was a good teacher cause the rest of the J1s doesn't seem to remember much stuff XD And so it was quite funny cause the way Leon(a) programmes the lights is like how an operator would operate a machine, like ok press this first then that and this and that..

So after that packed up and went for lunch at Tiong with Cheryl, Leon(a) and wq.. Was expecting to see PC there too but i guess we didn't after all. We talked crap for like a few hours, by crap i meant anything under the sun that doesn't seem to be productive enough haha. So it was an interesting convo from NCC guys to Movies to Cute Kanda and stupid stuff haha. After i received a phone call from my mother i just chiong-ed home cause i realised we were suppose to go out again by like 5+.. So took MRT instead of bus haha sry wq;x

Anyway, so at night was dinner at JP... More like reunion dinner, cause i didn't see my cuz for like quite a long period of time due to me skipping dinners(as in i got eat but never eat with them), so yeah saw them(: And my cuz was like quarrelling with her husband. I mean it's like you walked a long way to marriage, i guess you shouldn't let a slight dispute over small stuff get in the way of your lives isn't it.. I meant there are people out there who wants to but doesn't even have a chance to be together like the two of you, so all the more i guess they should really treasure this affinity that they share between each other XD People like..

So that concludes my Sat and perhaps i would say it's burnt away just like this, but at least not in the unproductive sense whereby i either sits at my comp doing nothing or just sleeping in my bed for the day.. Thing is i really need rest D:

And so with such an eventful Saturday, you wouldn't expect to have the same thing on Sunday. Sunday is of course spent doing my Econs essay, GP IL and finding EOM articles. Nothing much interesting, just that so many a times i almost wanted to sleep, but i guess i managed to make myself stay awake.

Monday came like no other days would have. It was chapel in the morning, so of course the chapel set up and stuff. Made loads of mistake i guess. Doubt i need to list them all here, cause it's like quite stupid come to think of it. Was suppose to teach Leon(a) but apparently too many sticky situation popped up and so had to try and settle them. And the day, shalln't mention with the quite expected results of Chem.

It's like i've been trying my best in whatever i do, but still it doesn't seem to show in terms of results. I feel so weak already, after every other thing that happened. Like i can't do anything more to help or change the situation and all i can do is sit and watch and wait? Perhaps, it's time i really start thinking about myself and stop caring about others, but still it's my nature to even do so.. I'm fully aware of it but there's just nothing else i could change not even myself. So what other things can i do for the people around me, for myself? I guess none would be the most appropriate answer at least for now. "It's the experience that matters." doesn't seem to be applicable to me anymore. Afterall, at this point in time, human relationships are perhaps the only thing i felt that matters anymore.

And i can't control myself. I'm like super confused. Hoping that i'm not thinking too much into the subject matter, but what i think of and see of is the true gist of it. I'm super scare, afraid that i might just not get up again if i ever fail this time and i dunno what might possibly happen to me if i choose to follow my persistent instinct that might lead me to the nowhere. It's like i need a heart to follow cause i think i lost mine somewhere, in my train of thoughts, somewhere in my outflowing emotions pouring out at me tonight. Is it just me or is it you? I really don't know. All i know is, if we ever meant to be, we will be.

I had a Dejavu that happened during the Sat event as in it came to life. I once closed my eyes.And wished that I'd see you in my dreams and now that i really do i wanna believe in it, believe in my dreams & you~

i'm just falling into something i can't stop .
Into Love.
With you.

Labels: MRC, Weekend