I wanted you
Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cuz we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I lvoed
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I, I.. I'm so sorry baby
But I, I.. I gotta pack up and leave
But I, I'll always remember how we came close
..to being how I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
I wanted you

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I lvoed
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

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Just added a new song. Press the ">>" button and you will see it. It's sung by a singer named Ian and i decided to add this because basically it's nice lol and it shows how i'm feeling right now.

Sorry for not blogging for the past 5 days??o.o I wasn't in the mood to do so and plus i've been doing service learning at children society at Chua Chu Kang== Imagine Redhill-Chua Chu Kang, how long's that man>.< Always left house at about 7am and reached home at 5pm. Don't really have time to pen down my thoughts and all. But since i'm free now, it's time to do so.

Thoughts
Well, we are supose to protect the children's identity, so pardon me for not mentioning their name and might in turn cause many confusion. Hmm, basically the first days were boring because we were like strangers to the children and vice versa.
We were being told that every single one of the children have gone through a lot because most of them have problems at home so they gotta be sent to the children society to stay there. Kevin mentioned that the place was more like a campsite== which i don't really think so larh, campsite is much more worser. But it does look a bit like prison for the children. The children were hyperactive and that kept me occupied from thinking about other stuff. Actually, during these 4 days, quite a number of things happen but is just hard to use just a few words to describe.

I've learnt something - Jealousy knows no boundary. There's this Girl A in which one of my groupmates stepped on her foot and my groupmate decided to buy some stuff for her as a form of apology. But who knows there's this Girl B who went to take her stuff out of jealousy i guess. And it ended up as a very bad quarrel and the teachers at the society got to step in. From this, i saw how jealousy could lead to such a big matter and not just a feeling. I think i should try and learn to control mine if it arises anytime again.

Something else that i observed was that children were very contented with what they have. You just have to give them a sweet, that's all it takes to make them happy for the rest of the day. Can you imagine when you give a sweet to somebody sad and it could make him/her smile for the whole day? No right, but it happened right there.

Also, i saw some burnmarks on some of the children. The only conclusion that i could get from it was that they were being abused by their parents. ABUSED!!! And she's only what 8 years old? WTF this world is coming to? A 8 year old have to go through so much and live with the marks for the rest of her life? This world just isn't fair. Everyday, i looked at those marks, i just couldn't stop feeling saddened for her.

Changes
I felt i changed. At least after the whole thing, maybe just a little minor change. I've grown to like children^^ Last time i found them a bothersome and all, so i didn't really like children. But maybe it's because of the times spent there that made me grown to like them. They are simply innocent and adorable=X When there was this boy that called me "kor kor". Then i was like a bit shocked cause no one has really called me that, not even my sister,considered never. At that very moment, i was like wow... So this is how it feels when the children look up to you and call you that. I guess i got a slight feeling of how an adult may feel when the child calls them "papa and mama", the kind of satisfaction that you can never get from anywhere else, but children.

Throughout the whole thing, i think i've fallen for "28". Well, if you know what it means. Hmm, it looks as though i found a greener pasture to graze/gaze on...lol. "28" looks nice. Maybe if i can't stand the broken-hearted-ness anymore, then i might considered "28" to at least lighten the pain living inside of me. I know that i admired "28", but deep down inside i know i never wanna leave this pasture that i've been on over the past 2 years. Because i cherish this relationship and that i knew i never would want to give up though she keep making me do so. No More 28!!! enuf of all the nonsensical stuff..

Events and happenings
26th May 2008, Mother Tongue O lvls!!! The paper went okay, wasn't too tough, wasn't too easily either. Just that the thought of my first O lvl written paper makes me nervous and all and i ended up having stomachache for the whole 2 papers. I had to hug my jacket so that i could tahan the pain for the whole paper. Both papers i managed to finish them just on the dot. I hope for nothing more but a bare A1>.<

I've smsed her for like 4 times out of the 6 days== But all in all, guess what. She didn't reply a single of it=.=... I knew i went slightly overboard and all but is it just too much to reply a stop it or something like that? I hope she don't tell the crap excuse that the phone's been battery dead for 6 whole days, actually 7 cause it's Sunday now== On Friday, i heard she's been released early at like 11am, but she didn't even bother to reply, not even a yes or no or whatsoever. Maybe her life revolves around her friend, so she's too busy with them, but wait, doesn't this mean that i'm no longer her friend? Is it too much to ask of her to take out 5 mins of her time to do so?... I seriously don't know.

Went to watch Chronicles of Narnia : The Prince Caspian (is it?) today. It's not that good but there's one phrase that caught my attention. It goes like this " Things never happen the same way twice.", neither do i hope it does. I don't wish for us to walk in circles and ended up at the starting point yet again. I don't wish for things to happen the same way, but they always do, but what can i do to change it?


Love has no limits. So does mine.

Labels: Love, Service Learning, Thoughts