Back to school, back to life. Been asked to go back on the 12th and 19th of May for robotics. What enthusiasm these people shown, pushing everything to me even though i already did so much. Actually to be frank, at times i felt disappointed in people, humans, yes humans, because things just seem so unpredictable with them, anything could happen. We-Glen,Kevin and me had a heart-to-heart talk during recess. Talked about things that are on our mind. Sigh, the three person who had since fall out of love. Met her outside Chem classroom.But didn't say hi, not cause i don't wanna do it, is just that she turned away and more or less i think i should have known better why she had did that. What could i do? The least i could do was to not make the situation anymore awkward, i guessed. Thoughts started to engulf me. I was thinking whether confessing and telling the whole world about it is wrong. Did i do anything wrong. It seems like that's nothing wrong but at the same time it feels wrong. Back to my confused world. Living in my own thoughts and fantasy land. Stayed back after school to see Ms Mano for oral. Instead of testing me, she more of like helped me to answer all of the questions... But at least i picked up a few skills from her and not like wasted my time.



"Love is giving him/her the power to destroy you but trusting him/her not to"

I got destroyed sometime, somewhere. Even placing trust in her or being steadfast doesn't help, so what else really helps?

Service Learning results are out. As expected, i landed up in local. She's in local too. But somehow the kind of excitment that i should have felt since we are in the same service learning doesn't seem to come to me. If it was three weeks ago, i think it would be a different case. I would have looked foward to the service learning and most likely be having a smile on my face every now and then. But now, it's only fear, it's only pain, it's only agony. Lookind foward would now mean looking back at the past. Smiles became frowns. Tears of joy would become Tears of agony. Just what have i done wrong? Sense of helplessness surrounded me. For yet again, i felt helpless. The worst hated enemy of mine.

To the people out there: i dunno what to comment about us being in the same service learning but definitely i'm feeling what i feared to feel. Helplessness.

The Past still holds some truth, but if you turn them into memories, the hope of it happening is gone. I've yet to turn them into memories, but i hoped that the past shall be my future.

Labels: Agony