Life. I've been thinking a lot lately but I can't seem to put them into words.. Times like especially pre and post operations, I had time to sit snugly on my commercial bus and look out during the long ride, just thinking about stuff.

The weather's been bad, been raining despite me at outfield. Honestly outfield doesn't feel as bad as it used to be already. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm used to it and I tried to get used to it cause I'm gonna do this for at least another 1.5 years. Wish this could finish right now, LIKE NOW. I hate camo cream and the fact that they gave us $50 more for combat pay just to buy camo cream. Btw, one tube of that thing cost $3. Gah.. People in SP company are pretty screw up too, not moving, not responsible, not ON TIME AT ALL. I think that was where I got my late syndrome from..

Idris: The best thing about army is timing Ironically, they don't keep to it.

Bookout this friday was supposed to be at 6+ and it eventually got dragged to around 8. Nights out(omg like finally after a month plus) this week was supposed to be 6+ too but we went out at 7. I really really hate this and especially people don't quite appreciate you for tanking shit (by shit I literally meant shit work). Noisy OCS drop out and GG gang alike, that's what mono in take is all about. Maybe it's a good thing they abolish the system but I'm predicting that more screwed up commanders are gonna come along. There's always a good and bad side to things but somehow when people talk about these things, they'll end up just siding with one side. Maybe this is human..

Sometimes, I feel sorry cause I really don't have enough time for everyone. Every week, I had only 48 hours out of the prison, I don't know how I could live life like I used to be. Friends. Maybe I'll leave army with just those who ORD-ed with me. They'd probably be my only friends left. Even so, they're screwed up in their very own ways. I need to get out of SP company. I know a thousand apologies couldn't make up for the lost time, but I guess this is all I could say now. A single sorry.

I've been thinking about my career, or future for that matter. Over this weekend, I've been reading my sgt's gf's blog. My sgt obviously knows he made the wrong decision to sign on, but I don't know if it's because he was really keen on being a regular or cause he wanted money to spend. Makes me wonder if you have to do what you really want to do or just cause you do what you should do. Like e.g, you work because you want to work or do you work because you have to work. I'm gonna study in a specialised subject and makes me wonder am I gonna want to do what I want to do or do just for the sake of it..

Parting's made harder. Week by week.I just want to hold you in my arms.