I think I used to be this pessimist (in fact I think I still am, just not as bad). The world's dark and all, why do life keep throwing things at me which I don't even understand why I must go through all these. But I guess as things happen, I find that a lot of these can't be helped, like how I'm stuck serving my 2 years when people are already going thru their uni. So, I guess all I can believe is these 2 years will be well spent and worthwhile while it last.

I think the week... has been mrc-ish. Doing the same stuff outfield, only more complicated slightly.. Connecting telephone lines which subsequently got cut by sgts, having to fix it.. walking 2.4km trying to lay cables is such a chore and the forced preparation kills too. I've spent almost every night trying to finish rolling up wires into packs I can use for my vehicle. I said I want to do something like MRC when I go out to work but I never thought of it in this way, doing it in the forest or something. Homework kills too. My weekend.. Dammit. And next week's my IPPT, I'm so gonna fail Gah.. Studying and not exercising and eating a lot more than I should.. All these totally doesn't help.

I've been so tired from everything. Looks like becoming a Man isn't that easy.. You probably suffer as much as a commander, but at least they get more pay and get to enjoy slightly later. Don't want things to happen.. Don't want to go to 5SIR, don't want time to move.. The only thing's keeping me alive's probably every weekend. It's a bit like finally it's weekend, TGIF?

Last week, ate at Sakae and like kind of went overboard with the 'red sushi' thing. Nya, I think i've been led astray or something, but I'm not as perfect as I would like myself to be. 'eat', 'hungry', I'm like a kid sometimes. Subsequently, went around scape looking at the mini F1 thing which is quite fail, cause the circuit was so fail and so many cars were running at the same time. Then came the having to go home early part. I think actually I shouldn't be staying out so late after that theft case, so yeah. Had to go home early, cause it would seem impossible to send her home and make it home any time near on time.. Then came that emotional moments.. My heart ached so much and I was in a mess not knowing what's right and wrong, what's for the better or worse. But one thing for certain I can tell is that she's for real.

This week, went to Kbox. The server was blur, think he lost some credit card or something. So he kinda barge in for a few times. Went to walk around scape too. I guess it's like a normal date? Only we watched the fireworks again like last week. The fireworks from NDP this year's pretty, really. Even though I don't quite enjoy the view when I'm alone at home and I kinda got used to seeing fireworks, but still I think this time was different? I think it's the company that matters. Pretty things are meant to be shared. I think our relationship's like fireworks. Cause... It's like pretty for a moment like how we are during the weekends and then it's gone. There's like 2 ways to look at the fireworks? It's like wow so pretty so bright and the other side of it, it doesn't last? I was staring at her for a brief moment, hoping time would stop and the staring wouldn't. Guess time doesn't have feelings and it's cruel nature doesn't give anyone any chances. Not even us.

It gets harder and harder as time goes by...