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heartbeats like drum beats.
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Sunday, April 24, 2011
Till death do us apart.
 I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. These days I've been thinking about death and stuff. Partly due to the Good Friday guard duty I have to perform thanks to my buddy. I hate my buddy so much but that shall come later. Making my rounds around tekong, I saw many dead things, literally rotting decomposing infested with decomposers, only I don't quite know their name. Dead frog, dead birds, dead lizards, I wouldn't want to see a dead human though. I don't quite know why but death seemed something that stood out that day. A cat followed us all the way for the 2 hour round, only it feels quite scary when it's hair stood on ends and stared at nothing. They say animals can see things we can't i.e ghosts, tried my best not to think about it, only the prayer room outside the guard's bunk bothered me this much. Though I never enter it (I wished I did), guard duty is never fun and that includes being a prowler walking around. I dreamt that my mother died yesterday. Maybe cause I was thinking about death before I fell asleep. Booked out yesterday only the in morning and went out straight. Met the Giant gang at vivo and went to eat at Yoshinoya. Greentea pudding which was too sweet for comfort, so was the atmosphere. I wonder why but maybe cause the idea of double date + 1 extra isn't all too appealing. After that Wen Jun went away to Woodlands when I could hardly speak to him. We went to Dohby Ghaut afterwards, sending Wen Jun halfway through his journey. Awkward silence trying to figure out where to go and what to do. "What do you all do other times?", my reply was "there were not many other times." As sad as that sounds, it's true. This is probably only my fifth time booking out and so we've probably have only met up 5 times. As much as I want weekends to last, it never fail to breeze past. We went to watch Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. It was quite retarded, more of a biography made into a movie. The concert seems good though... despite the fact that I was staring at the stage not him, but a recorded version can be so good, I think the live'd sound better. After the movie, we went to play arcade and soon after Regina and Yi da went off. Though I don't quite know if they really did and just secretly stalking us. We ate and I sent her home. Was thinking about a lot of things, half alive, half conscious. I tried to hug her, she turned and it ended up the wrong way. Awkward but it ended up right. You and me I was just reading this poem online and thought it's really nice.  Every book in, it gets harder, harder to bring myself to bath and don on the army uniform. I know it sucks, and thinking of it makes me even more want to cry. I was thinking that PTP is ending and BMT is starting in a week's time and it's the first time in a while I start to feel the warmth of my tears flowing down. It's so stupid that I don't even know why I'm crying. another confinement, sometimes I don't know how to live through it. Sometimes, I don't know how close we should get, the closer we get the harder it is for us in the long run. Somebody, tell me.  If this is a comfort to someone whom I can't really talk to. |
