Whether to extend my contract for another 2 weeks because I just lost like $14 yesterday. Anyway, thank god for Brenda if not I'd have to fork out another like 14 bucks just to cover my It's like IDK, I've been having mixed feelings about this. I don't want to be like some useless rotting person at home and yet I don't want to lose money at work. I've been thinking about the packer and this is bad according to WQ. Not that I don't think so too. But it's supposedly I guess just physical attraction. Quit smiling at me already. Sometimes, I feel so helpless at smiles. I need to make a decision by today (since it's past 12). Idk what to say about tmrw too. Idk if I want to meet that packer.

Aging. My grandfather (actually his not really my biological grandfather, strictly speaking) has been complaining about the ailments of an old man, partly cause his already hit the age of 75 (seriously, I hope I live to even see 70) and idling around, not knowing what to do. Which really reminds me that there are certain things that you can only do once in your lifetime, especially in the days of your youth. Youth is so limited, why bother wasting your life away angsting over stuff that wastes your youth away. I think you should enjoy as you earn, after all inflation is a bitch and when you're old, you're actually left with nothing. I think our brain degenerates once we stopped learning. I think I'm becoming more airhead now and actually I had this I don't want to grow old moment, when I actually realised my grandfather was like quite sad that he can't work anymore. Btw, he just stopped his job as a taxi driver a month back and his already complaining. When you've more time in your hands, your life slows down and you don't really know what to do with it.

Love. I had this moment on the bus when my sister was like tiredddddd. And I pushed her head against my shoulder and had her lying there for a while. The feeling's like weird and at the same time comforting as though someone was leaning on you for strength and refuge (shucks I made myself sound like god >_<). I was actually wishing I had someone like this. I started thinking about the past when I saw one of my cousins wearing that same bracelet. I think we all have lonely moments, but recently I keep fighting back this feelings of infatuations or whatever you call that. It's hard and I keep pushing it all back inside. I don't know when I'll give in to all these thoughts again. I'm sleepless tonight once more.


Peace.♥