It's like at that spur of moment, you'll realize what you've been hoping for all along. Like the outcome you wish for. It's quite an interesting way to figure out what you want through psychological deduction. As a matter of fact, I've never thought about it that way even when shows did show up and a common scene would be, flip a coin. Heads we go ... , Tails we go ... And the actor flips and the other guy will say you already know the answer. Never quite thought much into that until I saw this quote today. Anyway tumblr seems like a viable place to 'serve' nuffnang, so I might consider using it :D

Prelims' (was) over. Like finally. Even though I survived it, I'm quite not satisfied with myself, giving up last minute, at a lost of don't know what to write. It gets so retarded and the questions are like ridiculously hard, not that As will be any easier. I've been thinking about this for a while, it's like I quite enjoy studying, but not for the sake of exams i.e. studying just for knowledge sake. And which is why I think SG's education system is pretty much screwed up for instilling in us this sense of end in mind which is to fight for our results. I think what my neighbour said is quite true also, considering no matter what cert they may present to you at the end of 2 years in JC, at the end of it all it's the results that matters. Like whatever cert of appreciation you get is really nothing but just a piece of crap that makes you remember the shit you bother to go through for the sake of that piece of paper.
That's study for now. I kinda feel the increasing need to study at the rate I do for prelims from now on.
On a side note, why do I feel so dead when Eka Tanu stares right at me when his standing in the middle of the exam hall and even when I try to cut eye contact, he continues to do so.

Other than that. Class outing with the guys after Econs was good. Inception with trying to figure out the number of levels of dreams is epic enough, considering we bothered to count, it's in multiples of twelve when you go in deeper another dream i.e. 5minutes in reality is 60 minutes in a dream and so on so forth. I'm quite glad that I manage to catch it before it stops showing and so much for all the NO I'm gonna mug and not watch Inception. I guess some things in life do matter much more at a certain point in time, so much so we won't give it up for anything else.

L4D2 was so so boring, shooting zombies never quite relieve my stress but brings about more stress. I actually got a splitting headache after that. Screw the zombies. Dinner at Wendy's was good. As a matter of fact, now I quite understand the dis-economy of scale. Survival of small firms. HAHA, econs has gotten into me. But comparatively, even though the food's quite the same kind but Wendy's serious better than any other fastfood restaurant. Nice music, no uncivilized kids shouting, running, bursting the hell out of brain. It's such a comforting place. Of vertical speedboats, shoot, shack, marry, OBS, PTP brings back great memories. After reading the FOR PARENTS handbook from SAF, I'm kinda looking forward to getting into the army. HAHA, don't know if it's the rejection that I've got from society or what that made me want to get IN to it. lolol. The best part, you get paid to be fit.

I'm quite angry now, because my mum's gone crazy, probably either cause she's stressed up at work or my sister pissed her off, or well, pms. It's a bit like even if you're stressed up or whatsoever, it doesn't quite give you the right to shout at me or whatsoever just like how I don't have the right to bring my emotions from school home and affect everyone. I've been trying my best, but it's like you aren't showing any good e.g. "You should sleep early." and look at yourself, staying up all late just to watch shows, how much of an example or role model can you be? That's why I kinda quite believed in leading by example, because ironically, my mum doesn't.

Sometimes the truth is just a lie that you can see it in the eyes. Seeking out for who you want to be. It's a bit like the usual teenage angst that everyone gets, I mean it even show up in shows, doesn't quite seems unnatural for me to feel this way. It's a bit of like a part of growing up and soon enough you'll figure out something and you realize all these is just part of the inquisitive nature of a stupidly angsty teenage years. Of course, some people never quite figured out and it's a bit like I don't know what's gonna happen to me or what I should be doing. To hell being proper and just screw life. You cry yourself to sleep every night, try to cut yourself but fail badly, you break down in the middle of any day. It's all but too much emo in a certain stage of your life. So I guess I just got to get over it.

I think people shouldn't be nice to me in general, especially when I'm down. It's a bit like I don't want your sympathy and honestly I think nothing good will come out of having a close relationship with me, by far has been proven right. I do hurt people and get hurt. I'm so tired of all these cause it's like a vicious cycle. I feel sad, someone sympathizes, got too close and everything goes downhill, feel sad and it repeats itself. It's a bit like the inner struggle to get out of this cycle and finally live a life that you can call life.

I can't half imagine giving anything to LCH, or any of my tutors, but still happy teachers' day.