“ As I’ve grown, I’ve learned several things. Life is full of disappointments & people you trusted will sooner or later let you down. I’ve learned that often those you love will love someone else & there’s only one way to fall; fast & hard. I’ve learned that out of thousands of smiles, it takes one to touch your heart. I’ve found that words can be deceiving, but the truth always lies in a person’s eyes. I’ve learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye & tears often come without invitation. I’ve learned crying can make us stronger & there is never too much love to go around. I’ve learned that prejudice helps no one & that weapons don’t hurt people, people hurt people. I’ve learned sticks & stones may leave cuts and bruises but harsh words leave scars. I’ve found that every time you give someone a piece of your heart, it’s a piece that you will never get back. I’ve learned the past is meant to be put behind us & we can’t dwell on regrets, for what’s done is done. I’ve learned that trusting yourself is the first step & that forgiving is remembering that helps your own heart more then theirs. I’ve found that family isn’t always blood & everyone is someone’s hero. I’ve learned life is unexpected & that God can do anything. I’ve learned some things aren’t meant to be understood & that only time heals. I’ve found that imagination is our greatest gift & that we are meant to dream for a reason. I’ve learned it is never too late to fall in love & that being ‘beautiful’ is all on the inside. Mistakes are our best teachers & everything happens for a reason. Only then can you live life to it’s full & true potential. ”

I want to believe everything happens for a reason. It's just something to make myself feel better.

Today I looked myself into the mirror and was quite shocked to see myself all pale early in the morning. I looked really bad pale. It's only 2 days into exams and I'm already this weak, I don't know what the next week will bring. I woke up again feeling as though I didn't sleep, maybe that's why. Maybe I should just stay awake tonight, after all whether you sleep or not it doesn't really matter.

I was quite tempted to do the question about life isn't all about ... then I realised I probably would sound shallow after all 17 years of my life versus someone who might possibly be twice me age and more would probably sound more mature. Sometimes, I don't know if following my first instincts is always right. It's not as though I know what might happen other wise but well, it just stumbles upon me.

If you think it's a rainbow you see, you just saw disaster.
I was on my way home, pretty much alone in the rain, or actually not alone. I mean it's like there are a bunch of like minded people around you but it's just that you're detached from them. And I walked in the rain, knowing that I still have exams to go and tonight is probably the latest night I'm gonna stay up for. Sometimes, I don't know if I'm too obstinate or just too carried away. It's like I know what I'm doing is wrong but still continues to do it anyway, because I want to. I'm probably gonna get killed in the army. Back to the rainbow, there were oil spills around my house, then I thought yay pretty rainbow! Until it dawned onto me that you know oil spills probably meant there was an accident around here some time ago and someone probably got injured and died.

Pretend like you never see, like you never know, that Today failed you and look to Tomorrow afresh, because it's a brand new start again. Yesterday don't matter because it doesn't affect anything that's gonna happen.

I don't know why whenever I eat the riceballs from Mr Bean, I feel much better no matter how sad I feel at that point in time. I guess it's like finding joy in food like never before. It's a happy food.