Everyone's sick and tired, I mean literally, sick and tired. People are falling sick due to lack of sleep and all, tired because they don't know how to keep on sustaining. I think no doubt, I'm one of them. I came home so emotional that I crashed on the bed and started thinking. My eyes were hurting, my back was hurting, the allergy I got under my mouth was irritating me too. I was so urgh that I started thinking about you and it made it worse. I was so on the verge of breaking down that I thought if you'd appear right in front of me now, I'd tell you everything. It was as though nothing's holding on to my life and I just want to screw it up at that moment.

My ft was giving some motivational speech today and everyone was so down. Like all the happy go lucky just went away and everyone started reflecting upon whether they gonna make it to Uni ever. It's really sad how reality hits us hard and there's nothing we can do about it. He made me realise I'm gonna fail my prelims. There's no way I'm gonna make it. Sometimes I feel so hopeless that I don't know how to pick myself up. I made Mr Chan so angry and all that I hate myself a lot.

I was thinking on my way to school, thinking about the person who died under the tree. I was thinking on one stormy morning that there's so many trees along the roads that one day what if one falls on me and I just died like this. Life's so full of uncertainty.

My father told me about making decisions how when we grow into an adult we need to be decisive. I think I'm still pretty much indecisive about you and stuff. Looking at Kenneth sometimes reminds me of the past of how foolish I were and maybe I really didn't change much and probably still as foolish as before because I'm still stuck with the same kind of thing and not moving on at all. Does love start out like this? Or was I all wrong from the start?

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