Last PE lesson yesterday was memorable. No more PE for life. I realised I actually didn't mind PE if I'm not that tired. htht with charlotte tang and soon after failed napfa despite considerable help from her. I had a mc for my back but still did it anyway. Epic fighting over classroom 5.7 with other class because Clare wasn't here, we spent a whole 1 hr 20 minutes in darkness. I can't believed I wasted my whole 1hr 20mins playing bejeweled and attempting but failing at doing work, leaving marks around.

On a side note, I got into PES B1L1 and godammit, I'm suppose to pass my napfa by next week. -gasp- I've been randomly blurting out vulgarities ever since I found out about it, sigh. I guess it's not something that I wanted. Just not B I guess, or at least excuse me from napfa-.-" Someone save me T.T I'm supposed to improve my timing by 2minutes by next week sigh sigh sigh. I'm terribly upset now.): I don't know if there's anything worth staying out of army for.

Today was rudely awakened by messages of bad news. "Omg, your whole class pon?!" and "OMG, FORWARD FROM MR LIM: Please tell the whole class that they will have to produce mc for their absent today. As no one is here." Ultimate epic. I think my class is the champion when it comes to skipping class.(Y) I was actually considering to go until I realised almost no one's gonna go, whatever will happen to class bonding. I guess it's this sudden realisation that it's game over if we don't start work soon enough, it's actually <100 days from As. It's DC for everyone soon :D:D I don't get why people always expect someone to be there for them when they aren't even there for others. Like how omg zl isn't getting the service award. Like isn't that what everyone was hoping for? But honestly, I doubt anyone actually wonders how he feels, how if you were him, would you want someone to be there to care about you? But everyone actually expects someone to be there when you're feeling down, but no one thinks of how others feel given the same situation. How you expect people to love you when you don't even think of others when they're lonely. See, the paradox of it all. How mankind is self serving and stupid, yet still expecting love in this world.

I don't know if love is something that's natural occurring, i.e. innate in human nature to find love, or create love. But most music are actually based on the theme of well, love. Many songs are based on love, but that may be because it evokes the most emotions through words? Music was invented to confirm human's loneliness. Ever so often I get so afraid of being alone that I just listen to music to fill up the gaps. I think I'll do very well if I were to write an essay on love and the meaning of life as compared to how modern technology affects our life.

Wrong people at the wrong timing at the wrong place. Why does it always happen? Guess you are oblivious to the kind of effect you have on me. Sometimes, I really do wonder, just what's wrong with this world. I guess it's selfish of me to always want things to go the way I want it to be. But sometimes, I get so frustrated and distracted and all that I don't know how to go on. I think I've been studying hard enough, but I think I'll be left standing alone crying, after it all.

EDIT: I woke up today from a dream. It felt so real. And I was clenching my fist so tightly as though something's threatening me so much. Sigh, I don't know how to deal with my insecurities anymore.

Labels: School, You