The universe is so vast, but I'm only me. But, recently, I just kept thinking about me and myself. So self serving and all. I'm becoming a very selfish individual. I'm becoming someone I can't even recognise. I'm afraid of turning out to be fucked up. It's like I kept suppressing and suppressing, I don't know how long I'm able to tell myself to be somebody. I'll turn into a stranger, ignore others and get ignored. I so sick of being the only one that bothers that I think I turn out to can't be bothered at times anymore. I snap, only voicing my violent yet silent objections through actions. Only if I burst into words, I don't think I'm able to control myself. I'm trying my best to bring everything in, compress it like air, lock it like a locket in my heart. And. I don't know how long more I can take this, I feel like tearing my job apart, so frustrated, so pissed, so much so it seemed like a mood swing already. Just chill, no matter how fucked up this whole thing might be, it's just another week of getting sick and tired of oblivious people, tiresome jobs that no one cares and getting worried for nothing because no one else bothers.

It has come to a point anger suppresses sadness, I don't even feel sad about my own stuff anymore, I'm just.. plain angry. I hope no J1 follows in my footstep, I'm not a good senior and that's why they should not model after me and want to be the secretary. I should show them my blog one day, then maybe, they will realise the sky isn't all blue and the grass isn't all green. All is but full of shit.

Our eyes will meet less from now on, our words will not comfort each other, our hearts will never beat for one another, I might never see you for long anymore. It's going, it's going, it's going to be gone.

Why am I depressed over something that has never happened?