“ I could sit here and tell you a million pretty things. I could compare you to the stars or the moon. I could go on about your smile, your eyes, or the shiver I get down my back every single time you hold my hand. I could say all that, but the truth is in every line. A whisper in your ear wouldn’t add up. I’m kind of a wreck. I could never describe how I feel about you because the word ‘love’ just doesn’t do it, but it’s all I got. I love you. I’ve known for too long and all I know is its the last thing you want to hear from me. I don’t want you to say it back, not yet, not even if for some reason you want to. It’s not something I want whispered at the end of every phone conversation and every time we say goodbye because i don’t want to cheapen it by trying to put words to the way I feel about you when there aren’t really any words, even for me, which is impressive. I just want you to know that its how I feel about you, so I’m not gonna mess this up, okay? All I want is you.

I like the way the person puts it across, "I'm not gonna mess up, okay?". I think many a times, when you try to make something happen, it'll normally turn against you, it's when you least expects it to turn up, almost lost all hopes, that you'd find it knocking at your door, in this case, love.

I mean, how do you let go of the person who means happiness to you? The one who lets you find stars and galaxies from looking in her eyes, and the same person that you are content to give your very best and nothing less?

Give your very best and nothing less? I think I haven't did that for a long time.

Today, I woke up really happy for some strange reason :D I guess it's cause I had a nice dream last night (Actually not really nice, but it was ... (: ) I woke up thinking about it, albeit a bit sad, I can't believe I kind of smiled when that happened. Noooo, zh, get a grip of yourself already. It started my day off on a really high note, and I actually finished all my tutorials for the week. Time to catch up on the past term's work!

I'm halfway through my Social Issues package. I think I have an issue with myself without even reading it. :x I'm full of angst (in other words, angsty, but since angsty isn't a word).

angst
n. A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression.

ap·pre·hen·sion
–noun
1. anticipation of adversity or misfortune; suspicion or fear of future trouble or evil.
2. the faculty or act of apprehending, esp. intuitive understanding; perception on a direct and immediate level.
3. acceptance of or receptivity to information without passing judgment on its validity, often without complete comprehension.
4. a view, opinion, or idea on any subject.
5. the act of arresting; seizure.

Basically, from above, angst means feeling anxious or having an opinion of subject matter before thinking it through, often with depression. I think I'm shaped by whatever that has happened in the past, not that I'm trapped in it but more of like nurture kind of thing. It seems however, over the years, I tried to change it but to no avail. I think whoever who can read me and read me well is just that someone I'm looking for. I'll be surprised if anyone managed to read my intentions, whether subtle or straight to the point though.

Labels: Love, Smile