I swear my econs teacher is getting more and more.. out of point.
In the middle of the lessons...

I was teaching my Sunday class kids how to catch butterflies. You don't wait till the butterfly come then get ready your net right? And then you realised that your net has a hole in it. Just like how you see a good girl and should go after her and get married, live happily ever after, like me now.

-inserts coughs-

She doesn't teach anything that's like at least 50% related to Economics which is also why my score never went beyond 50%. Well, at least she makes me think about.. butterfly. Seriously.

It's no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that’s dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It’s so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can’t say the things you want to.

Sometimes, you just know you can't do anything about it, even without trying.

I've been getting increasingly upset over.. well my term results. Not the results itself actually, more of the process you've got to go through, reflecting, talking to teachers, parents and most important of all, face yourself.

The Science HOD has this ultimate memory skills that allow her to remember everyone's names in my class without herself even teaching us (does relieving count?). And it gets extremely depressing when she just briefly talked to everyone else and asked me to sit down and have a longer chat with me. Which makes me realise how much more I've screwed up my life. I'm in the 8.7 percetile for Chem. Which means I'm roughly around the lowest 60 in the cohort. I'm in deep shit. Oh anyway, I'm still wondering why I'm still in SGC.

Today, I wanted to go home and decided to go check up on the ppt once again. But somehow or rather, Ms Mai knocked and I opened (and just so happen that my ft was walking by) and went like "Zhi Hua can I disturb you?". I'm like no shit.
The whole conversation became some interrogation about why I didn't do well for terms and what I should do and just what happened to me, which is something I haven't seem to be able to figure out up till now. His determination in insisting that I seem to be out of focus because I'm in a relationship doesn't seem to waver as he continues to well.. interrogate. I swear Leona and WQ were having a heated discussion over his two faced personality.

Which is why I came home and crashed on my bed immediately, feeling so tired.

Anyway, I'm starting to relate between Justin Bieber's That Should Be Me and Taeyang's Wedding Dress, probably because of the lyrics should be me~ And I swear he sound retarded when he goes like That should be me, this is so sad~ Which reminds me if I were to translate everything in Taeyang's Wedding Dress, it'd actually sound something like this. Which means if there were to be a Wedding Dress Eng version, it'd sound as retarded as That should be me. So, does that mean when you finally understood something, then you will fully appreciate how retarded you've been in the past?

Singapore has a suicide rate of 360 a year which boils down to 1 per day. Which means if you were to kill yourself, you would have max-ed out the quota for the day and probably means you've taken away someone else's opportunity to kill him/herself. So stop killing yourselves, you take away chances from others who might need it more than you. Moreover, you reduce the factors for production in the economy. See,even my depression is Economical. (actually, that'd more of Literal). Proof- "See, even your depression is Mathematical."

I'm going crazy.

Happy belated birthday, blog. Two whole years of memories, you're the only thing that holds on tight when everything else fails.

keep holding on.♥

Labels: Crazy