alexithymia a·lex·i·thy·mi·a (ə-lěk'sə-thī'mē-ə)
n.
Inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner.

You know this word totally describes my feelings now.

It's like this I've already got over it and decided to move on. But it doesn't go according to plan. When life goes not according to plan, it just makes you feel messed up, no matter how slight that not-according-to-plan might be. And you know I actually cared about someone now that I realised it even though I seemed to have hated him all along. I'm like worried what's happening now might have an impact on him and I'm really skeptical about it. But wells, as others might have said, it's so not worth it.

There's this conversation about RH and MCs and I kind of experienced that myself today. I'm kind of freaked out by the j1s officially. Seriously, I don't know if this is the influence of the school but they give me this perception that whoever came out of that school has this weird character that goes along the lines of RHs and attitude problems.

Today I actually stood up in Maths tut, maybe for the first time in my life and my tutor was like showing me this "Oh yes finally" face. And he went like

"Why? Left your tutorial with your girlfriend?"
"No."
"Got girlfriend or not?"
"No."

I think he got scared by my monosyllabic answer. :D And seriously, I bet there's this scandalous talk about me going on in my class but I don't really care. I kind of made up my mind to adopt the dot theory, because it's sad to adopt the circle theory and instead of trapping the person, you get trapped into the circle yourself.

Labels: Alexithymia