xxmrcasanovax:
So, its been a while since I posted something out of my heart, soul, and mind here. Here’s something to think about for those guys who are nice and something pertaining about relationships to relate. For the past few weeks, I had discussions about relationships with a few friends of mine. Everything is still going to be the same at the end. Regardless of what situation it is. As I get older, I understand what I want more, see how people really act, and see who can handle someone to be in a relationship. I don’t know how to put it this way, nice guys always end up last. I have realized the nice guy will always be a good friend; nothing more. He may be lead on to thinking he likes some girl deeply, soon enough to fall for them, but then to realize she disappears. From what I have noticed, the girl goes for the guy who they think they can change. They don’t want a guy who is mere perfect because they’re afraid that relationship will get boring. Thus, everyone always needs something to complain about. All the nice guy can do is just sit there and listen to how someone can complain while the right one was there the whole time. Meanwhile, the nice guy continues to grow more depressed wondering “where is that one special girl I can share my life with?” A girl wants an asshole who she think she can change, yet they know in the long run, they might get hurt. Its a never-ending story in a sense for looking for the perfect relationship. Every person who is in a relationship always somehow has a downfall to the relationships they have. No one doesn’t fully open up or they hide things. Lately, I have seen a lot of relatinhips in front of me have went down the drain. It makes me wonder if people are really going for love or just lust. Also things assholes will do to make a nice guy to fall back (ie. going to their work and talking out of their ass to get someone fired and basically off the girl they’ve been trying to get with). I really hate how most guys out there don’t understand how to treat a girl out. As my most favorite quote so far from a recent song, “He’ll show you the minor things…But I’ll show you the finer things,” becomes more of a true statement for us nice guys who really want to give it their all to a girl they actually start to care deeply about. Hopefully that person won’t be taken for granted for, but you never know. I have always said this that nice guys always end up last because its true. I’ve been the socalled “perfect boyfriend” but I haven’t found The Lady of my Life yet. I have so far learned from experience on how to relate to litterally everything these days that even pertain to relationships. Sometimes I feel like I have wasted my time, but at the same time, I feel like I have gotten somewhere. Its been months I have been single and I sigh from it time to time. I see couples everywhere I go. Its quite irritating to me now. As much as I know its better to be off single at the moment, I’d rather take my time to get to know one person and get closer with her. I consider myself a victim in a sense for being a nice guy. Us nice guys are taken for granted or we’re there at the wrong time. Better yet, people who start drama usually messes up everything in the long run, which basically happened not to long ago for me. Every night I go outside just to let my mind out. Honestly, it hasn’t really worked. My mind is still all over the place. Passing by people I know, doesn’t even help at all. For those of you who wish I stay miserable, you guys got it. I have went to a point of “Why be nice if no one won’t recognize you or even take you serious when you try to get into a relationship?” There’s no point. Someone once told me, “Expect the Unexpected,” and I did believe it. It was all good until it backfired on me dramatically. I can’t even ask people for help since they go to me for advice. I’m tired of being Hitch already. When is it my turn to be happy once more? This whole “Looking for a relationship” feels like a rollercoaster. One minute your happy, the next minute your sad. I want off that rollercoaster already. I wanna stay happy. Right now, I feel like I just lost someone I started giving in for. No responses or anything. Was it just a long dream? I still ponder that. Still, I wonder if people believe the rumors they hear about me. Why must people believe rumors when they know that person is not even like that? Eh, and people say I’m gullible. I have stood up for my beliefs, my truthfulness, and my heart. Once more, I have to say this; You want to get to know the real me? Go to me first before listening to others. And one more time I’m going to say this (to someone I hope she knows), I do really like you. You already heard it from me in person, on the phone, through texts, through basically everything. I have not spoke to any other girl, but you. I’m just waiting for you to tell me upfront that you either want to get closer or you found someone else. Its that simple.. Well, I’m done speaking my mind out right now. I still have more thinking to do, just so little time to even say it out loud. Regards -Ivan

Just saw this around in tumblr. Tumblr is really a great medium to like retain things that you read and are meaningful. Hmm, it's just like another blog but it enables you to reblog things from other people haha. A pity, it's like late realisation :x But never mind never mind, I still can use it now :DDD

And so pertaining to the quote from above. I really feel it's true, at least for the most of it ever since a few events took place around me. Like really the most nice people can get or be is probably just being a good friend, they can't possibly be something more, because somehow somewhere, something went wrong. As for what kind of guys girls go for, I'm really in no position to say anything because I'm not a girl (duh). I tried being an asshole sometimes, honestly, but obviously it didn't work, if not I wouldn't be here writing this kind of stuff. And of course, from this I've learnt that life dramas aren't good for the souls, especially in a relationship, because it would for 99% of it end up to nothing. As for looking at couples everywhere on Orchard Road, though it sets me off thinking about what is really lacking in me like every now and then, I'm actually quite used to it. Not because it's been a long time since I started doing that but because it's different for every situation you're in. There's one thing I do know though, it's that I don't want to end up last. Of course, my father always tell me girls are everywhere, you don't need to stay at where you are just because you can't get over it. You've got to move on and not do silly things (Of course the intention is to make sure I don't do anything stupid). Then again, it brings me to the point, jerks will always be a jerk, they can pretend to be angels, but angels can't possibly pretend to be jerks because they don't know how to be one to begin with, because they don't know what's the difference between good and bad, having not tasted what is bad. Maybe if I went on, I'm probably just rambling which is bad. Sigh, yes I'm a jerk.

Monday, went gym with Samuel. He was late for an hour!-.- Yeah, so ended up solo-ing for the most part of it. After which met Wen Jun for lunch at TB's Macs. Mcvalue lunch ftw! haha, too bad I think I got over the dcf craze. Because there's Macafe there now! Hohoho, but too bad, you have to get over things one day, maybe it's a matter of time. Someone once told me ”时间会冲淡一切“. At first, I never believed in it, because I was blinded by what was in front of it. Then, I went on to experience it and then I discovered it was true. Time perhaps is the best cure for things like this. Yesterday, I can't sleep even at 1am. Then again, I fell asleep eventually, just like how you would give in eventually. But I woke up at 4 freaking am again. Then I couldn't fall asleep again. I realised the reason of course and tried to force myself back to sleep despite all that. And so, I didn't go gym with Samuel as planned, heh, sorry. Waking up irritated, of course the whole day went like shit. But never mind, it's not like I can do anything about it right? Because this is life I'm trying to deal with.

Hmm, so why did it hurt when it all didn't begin at all. Was I disappointed or was I just a little not over it.

Labels: OSYC