Sometimes, you watch shows, you get withdrawal syndrome. Like because the show got you so emotionally involved. Ahh the show <<向日葵的约定>> is one of them T_T Shucks. It talks about a girl with a mentality of 10 but physically 17 who likes sunflower. So she met this guy at a bakery where she worked at. As time passes, she realises she likes him a lot, but with a mentality of 10, what does that really mean actually. So the parents found out and obviously stopped them from continuing to progress as just friends. And so the guy brought the girl to Thailand because her wish was just so she could see a field of sunflowers. Then, she did a lot of stuff that was even though simple-minded yet something so touching because the innocence really shone amongst the city. Honestly, I don't feel like continuing because it's really sad T_T

Sometimes, I really hope in the midst of everything, someone would be true without you any implied meaning behind every words he or she said. I mean it's those kind whereby there isn't really any restrain to the point it really sounded like it came from someone without any mentality. But that's when everyone's true to one another, when they do say heartfelt words, or maybe even communicate your own point across clearly, precisely. But in life, circumstances place us in a difficult situation because we all have intelligence and we all didn't want to hurt anyone in the process of speaking anything, therefore, we learn to restrain, withholding certain truths from friends, from people who care about us. Because for one simple reason, you don't want to worry people. But sometimes, the lesser you say, the more it backfires. But yes, of course dreams are after all just dreams, not like I can do anything to fulfill it because we're living in 21st century and not during the stone age.

Despite so, often when walking halfway through the journey, we often wish for certain things or certain things to happen. That's when our heart desires are revealed. Then again, often we forgot, these things are often just what we want and actually in the midst of wanting these things, we forgot what we have. Many simple things we have we take for granted, but there are certain less fortunate people who don't even have what we basically have. For example in the show, the girl wished for herself to be just like us, a normal person and not one of mentality of 10 when she well 17. It's something we take for granted that yes, we will grow up and it's what should happen. But we forget there are people who can't grow up, who can't possibly be 'normal' in that sense. Suddenly, I realised I'm so selfish, so unsatisfied with what I have right now that I want more, but I keep forgetting what I have is already a lot, what I have is really what a lot of people don't. Just why am I asking for more?

Anyway, today on the train, I was pondering about something. Like, I started breathing consciously. At that very moment, I felt alive. It's like you've been consciously breathing in air and it does show that you're alive and then dawn upon you that it's such a great thing to even be alive in the first place. So why even seek death or whatever, because being alive is yet the biggest gift that you could possibly ask for. Because only then when you're actually involved in the action itself, then you realised what you really missed out. Of course, I can't imagine my selfish stopped breathing anytime.

Humans are such selfish creatures. Today, I went to Sintex warehouse sale. For those of you who doesn't know, Sintex sells bedsheets and stuff like this. And so there's this 20 piece special. Like whole bed set with comforters cost only $19 which was a big slash from $100+++. (Btw, I have no sense of how much they cost actually). And so, they placed these 20 sets under a piece of cloth and when they took it away, everyone just grabbed any set they could find. So the last set ended two ladies in an argument. And it got me thinking, humans are really selfish, they do things in the best interest of themselves without a thought for others. If everyone has a mentality of 10, I think the world would really be a simple and nice place to live in.

I think recently I've learnt things through the hard way. Realising certain things myself which I never had before had made me rearrange my priorities. I've decided on certain things and I do hope I follow through. Of course, leaving it all escaping from all these is still an open option I guess, but I'm gonna try to face it first before I make up my mind.

I don't need roses because Sunflowers are now the most important things in my life now.

Labels: Life, Sunflower, 向日葵的约定