Level 1: Puppy Love

Kindergarten through high school. Little boys and little girls whispering to their friends, “OMG he’s so cute and cool; I wish he was my boyfriend! I hope he asks me to prom.” They have no idea how a relationship works out and probably have never even heard of the word “date” or have gone on a legitimate “date.” They’ll hear from a friend of a friend that so-and-so is going to ask you out, so you decide to say yes to your friend who is going to pass the message to a friend of a friend of so-and-so so you and so-and-so can go out… how complicating. You say you’re in love at first sight and that you want to marry whoever your “date” is. You break up, you cry, you blog, you status update, you twitter, and you try to get any attention from the entire world to feel bad for you; and you don’t even realize that your personalities didn’t match in the first place… then you get over it the next day when the jock from the basketball team asks you out.

Level 2: The College Years

Exactly as the level says: the college years. So you’re over little boys and little girls and all their fake games and shallowness; you want a real love. You decide that you’re going to start dating people and getting to know them instead of falling in love at first sight… so you try really hard to impress the other person; you dress nice, you compose yourself, you act differently, and you change yourself so that this other person falls for you. In the end, you probably end up getting into a “long-term” relationship and the experience you gain is absolutely incomparable. You think, “so this is love?” Then priorities start to change, stresses from all over the place come at you because you’re transitioning into an “individual” person rather than a “dependent,” arguments start and break-ups happen. In the end, you wonder, “How could I give my all to someone and sacrifice so much to them but they don’t feel the same back?” You have to hate the other person in order to get over them. You have the mentality: It’s better to love and lost then to never of have loved at all right? Oh well, I have so many other things on my mind that I have to worry about… I don’t have time for a significant other; I’m fine being single and I’m not looking for anything serious.

Level 3: Welcome to the Real World

Post graduate dating and relationships. What can I say? It’s a level of maturity that is only reached through experience; experience that you gain from going through the first two levels of maturity. You date people, as in, you date more than one person. This is because dating is dating; it’s nothing serious. And not only that, you date someone a very long time before actually making it official. You want to make sure that you guys are compatible; no fakeness, no playing games, and no facades; you act like yourself and if it works out it works out and if it doesn’t then I’ll try my luck with someone else. There’s no hating if it doesn’t work because you realize that you’re over that phase and you completely understand that your personalities didn’t match. EVENTUALLY you’ll date someone a very long time, become official after being very sure of each other, become very serious, and transition into life partners.

I think i'm somewhere in the 2nd level, i guess. What could I say. I totally feel it's okay, I can be alone, right?..

Trying to recall whatever happened during the course of the past week.

Saturday.
Did guitar x'mas concert. Slow rehearsal + slow planning + slow preparing for event + slow figuring out which lights in lt4 are working = Sleepy me. Sleepyhead! Oh wells, having just plain guitar for the whole day is truly boring ): I totally need some real music to wake me up! I was this close to throwing the key and just taking a break from all these. I don't know what kind of force/mindset kept me back, but I do know it's over and I don't know how long I could possibly bring myself to press on. After all, I'm just another lost sheep trying to figure it's way out.

Monday.
I went gym for the first time out of motivation along with Daniel and Samuel. Well, actually, I wanted to train up for very long already, just so I could fulfill certain things like maybe carry someone for life. mm yeah. But that was before, before all these took place. But even so, I don't know why I'm still trying to train up. Maybe it's because I had friends to go gym with me or maybe it's because I'm just doing it for the sake of it? I really don't know actually. Ever felt like doing something because you felt like doing it? Ever felt like you just want to follow your intuition just so you would get by. Perhaps, this is one of those times. After that decided to be healthy and ate Subway. I tried Italian BMT. I guess it's not bad. Along with cookies. Haha, I'm like some subway double chocolate cookie addict! Went LAN at Chambers after that. Here comes the taji zui zui gang! Because every single time we go to chambers, we'll have problems with our comps and therefore the cashier (who is by the way only 2 different people) always have to settle for us :x At first, we went in Ajisen Ramen for dinner. But realised we could have gone JustAsia instead, because it would probably be cheaper eating there. So, 1,2,3 chiong arhh!! And we just ran out without the knowledge of the staff. And who could forget, " I need to go to the toilet"? Epic randomness with the guessing of the mystery of the seagull meat.

Tuesday.
Went to school to attempt to pack up for seniors' night. But apparently loan form was lost. And general sentiments from the teachers who were in school that day was "You should wait for everyone to come back to pack, work as a team!" and along the lines of not being fair if it's just the three of us. But the problem was not merely that, but also accounting for every single item, and since inventory wasn't updated, we had no way to backtrack anything. So ends up attempting to do Maths homework but failing. Ended up in Macs.

Wednesday.
Slept/slacked at home.

Thrusday.
Went Daniel's house to play mahjong. 32 whole rounds. Sometimes, I really think life is like 32 rounds of mahjong. Like everytime, you have to find the right moves to make and each step you take affects what you do next. As a matter of luck, it does help, but not always. But most importantly, you have to pay attention to what's going on, if not you wouldn't even know it when you lose it heavily. It was rather fun, watching them doing all the retarded hand signals to help each other get the right tiles. Wen Jun, I've never seen any other person did the shaking your head thing except in cartoons. Animated ttm. And how can we forget that we saw someone familiar, or not. Of course, who could have forget the *YOOHOO* + stalking outside Kah Wee's house. After that I went on the bus and I saw Xingya! Haha, but sadly it's only 3 bus stops left when she got up. So we talked for a bit and of course I hope she's doing well.. Still remember the times on 33 and eating at places along the route of 33 :x Those days were much more carefree, much less intensive than what it is now. Sometimes, you see friends and you wonder how are they doing, but because time has lighten your friendships, it makes the distance between friends not just the mere physical distance already. It's more of the distance that time placed. If you don't take efforts to renew friendships, of course, they die off.

Friday.
Epic trying to make up your mind where to eat/ go early in the morning since 9am till 12 noon. Keep moving boys! So we decided to go PS. I managed to catch the shuttle bus. But as I sat there, I was sitting my usual way of half sitting on the seat and leaving my legs half hanging. I realised I missed out something when the same thing happened before. Moreover, as i thought back about things, I realised if I could turn back time, I would have taken the initiative to maybe move closer. Maybe then, I was dull enough to not realise it, not notice it. But now that I think of it, I really made a lot of stupid mistakes that would have produced a better outcome if I actually did do something. Well, sometimes chance is only given once and that's it. But all these while, I've blew up all my chances ever since I couldn't even remember. Maybe it's just fated that I'd be alone. Anyway, back to the point, had lunch at Swensens because they were having some promotion. I want the M-E-N-U. Hahaha, I don't think anyone would get it except Wen Qiang and Daniel. And of course B-I-L-L. After that LAN at the LAN beside chambers. After I came out from there, I was pretty deaf with slight ringing sound from my ears. I think I'm going deaf. Not like anyone gonna care. Family dinner at Zhou's Kitchen. Pretty normal food but the desert was exotic. (:

We should have another 32 rounds next week but that's if everyone's free.

Labels: Friends, Holidays, Love, Time