When i read this from the 4th line onwards, i felt like all else didn't matter and i should smile more.

Even so, i shouldn't be feeling this way. Getting mad over little little stuff. But there's this unspeakable pain and envy that remains in my heart. I know i shouldn't be feeling this way, but after all as you said i can't control what i feel and there's nothing i can do about it except to feel worried and helpless even for you at times like this. I often try to tell myself, if this is all you can give, i can't possibly ask for more. After all, by holding on, i'm being selfish myself. The pain is real. My heart's for you. Hear it beat, it's getting weak, feel it, it's getting faint and i don't know how long it can last or survive. If i try to control, perhaps, i'm just trying to suppress and deceive myself even more. All the more i shouldn't.

A slip of mind,
Luz Control.
4 days before goodbyes.

Labels: Control, Mad, Pain, Smile