Slept at 2am thanks to pw. I remembered our seniors once said the night before the submition of WR is equivalent to a sleepless night. WR,OP, I&R formed the basis of the amount of sleep you get per day.

OP prelims was pretty screwed today anyways. But it's not like it's not expected with the little amount of rehearsals we have. Honestly, pw can just go burn itself.

After pw prelims, i was pondering whether to go out. Taking note of the time, i realised i didn't have much work left to do for pw, partly due to the amount of sleep i got the night before. So i decided to give myself an hour of escape of reality at JP. Honestly, Boonxzx can just open up his house as a gambling den, after all, he attracts mahjong kahkis to go to his house almost every other day to just play mahjong. And so there were company all the way to jurong. 10? Slightly lesser than half the class.

Reaching the entrance, realising you'd be somewhere in the building, i was tempted for a moment to just go and search for you. All i wanted was perhaps to spend a little more time, i guess, with each day trying to hope for a little more time. But almost every other day, fate'd like to play games with me, somehow there'd be bound to be something that will happen. Well, since i made the effort to perhaps make a trip down here, i guess i leave the rest up to fate. I walked around for at least twice from the top to bottom, from the new extension to the old, putting "Where U At" on replay. How apt. For some weird reasons, i met Mr Yap and had him talking to me about OP in the middle of no where. Well the outcome was i guess expected. And i continue walking, hoping that at least a msg'd pop by and i'd prob give up. But in the end,i realised i couldn't feel the presence anymore.

As i continue to walk and walk, the warm feeling overwhelmed my eyes, but i restrain from breaking down.. Till all the warm feeling evaporates. And it keeps coming back, again and again. Thinking about all these, how much more could i hang on as i find it increasingly hard to. There isn't any purpose in staying in MRC already too. I've almost accomplished all that i wanted to do. And then i felt so confused, still hoping for something to happen or even spark off, but how much hope can a person have, when he doesn't even have any courage to face his everyday life, to love someone.

I'm after all just another attention seeking child at heart, doing all these, but hoping for a little more attention, isn't it?... Toy 'R' us closed down preventing me from finding a nice huggable soft toy to replace my already going grey polar bear which just so happens to give me the worse kind of reminiscence during nights like this.

Labels: Fate