School is starting once again tomorrow. I hope i get the momentum back from the really long break (considering i had MC), cause i really need to study or at least do some consultation. I don't want to advance, i want to promote, cause failure was never in my dictionary, at least for academics and i don't wish for it to be a black mark in my entire life. But actually, who cares as long as you manage to get to J2. I've been pushing myself very hard. I guess it's cause i need to gain approval, that i'm able to manage my own life well, that i'd be able to handle my own matters and make decisions for myself, but actually i know all these at the end will boil down to nothing.

I've gotten a new laptop (: And it's supposed to charge for 8 hours for the first time. FML ): It's white in colour and my fav colour :D Oh wells, but i'm afraid it'll go yellow in no time, considering the way i handle my computers-.-" Post the photo next time and i think i'm gonna skin it(: Well, i think the only reason why my mum allowed me to use my scholarship was because my sister bought sth else. But wells, what cld i say, even though they say we're always been treated equally, but no matter what i still felt that little tiny winy bit of extra love that she showed towards my sister and i actually do understand. But wells, i've been trying to depend on my own, not to burden them, but i realised sometimes i couldn't, because i just crash and fall. I'm afterall a guy that just needs a little affection.

Wells, i've been doing my GP articles (17/20) over the past 3 days. Productivity has been low i guess, considering the amount i stoned, chatted on msn and busy mousehunting my life away for lycan-.- But what can i say, my eyes just go >< trying to filter endless articles just so that i could find some for GP. Besides, i feel quite accomplished, or at least comforting to know that i've at least completed my Chinese LMS. My teacher even called me up in the middle of the holidays to remind me. Wells, his really too nice to us to the point where everyone takes advantage of that and not do anyt work i guess. Wells, sometimes, being kind to others is like being cruel to yourself. Cause at the end of it all, you'll only burden yourself with more stuff.

And i'm just a little sad now, just a little. Because i realised the significance of the Ferris Wheel, something which i once thought so beautifully about. Haha I repeat, JUST A LITTLE SAD. x.x" And it's a realisation i've been living in the pineapple for my entire life -coughs- (if you watch spongebob you'd understand). Actually, i do watch a bit or at least i know someone in spongebob lives in a house that looks like a pineapple? Or maybe i'm actually wrong. But i think no one really cares. And i'm feeling a little lost again. Because i don't know how to cushion my fall after reaching the peak. Because i don't want things to end. But all good things come to an end, isn't it? Like how an 115 years old woman just died (the oldest woman currently on earth). Wells, just fyi, Randall, the oldest person that ever lived was 122 years old. You might wanna outlive that. But that's besides the point. Knowing that the path ahead is tough and you might just end up disappointed, will you still continue to pursue what you started off with? Knowing what lies at the end is nothing but hurt, will you continue being so stubborn? I think i'm the sort of person that just says i will when i really want to do it. I'm very inert, but if you managed to spark me off, you're something.

"U" and "I" are just beside each other,
So near yet so far.
(Look at your keyboard and think of the alphabets.-.-)

Labels: Affection