The previous week had been crazy>< Tests upon test, work upon work. And i've been staying in the room after school just to mug till late nights, or maybe even sometimes just doing work. By the time i reach home sometimes, i feel really drained and tired and not doing anything but just stone. And i got back my chinese, it's my second A for CA!(: But i think after including my zuo wen and everything else, i might just..not do as well.

I've fallen sick on Fri, or maybe it might be showing some symptoms of having a sore throat on Thrus already. Once i finished school i ttly just laid on the sofa and sleep. Headache, flu, cough, sore throat, anything u can name.): Didn't wanna see a doctor cause i think i had all the medicines. But ended up i discovered that i'm running a fever, so i thought i better see a doctor. Just when i wanted to do so, ended up i walk to 5 different clinics. All 5 are closed-_-" Like wth, just when i need a doct ): mmhmm, so i came home and started running a high fever of 38.2 D: At that very moment, i felt scared, afraid that i might become a retard when my brain get fried. I was so fearful that i might forget everything, my past, my present and what i thought the future might be like. I'm afraid of losing these precious memories, cause once lost, you can never gain them back.

I feel so much like crying. Because my temperature keeps raising. And then the flu keeps making me tear. And i feel so sick and tired of living but i just wanna live on. I'm damn afraid i might die, like when i close my eyes to sleep, i might never wake up ever again. So i didn't wanna sleep at all. Struggled to keep my eyes open ):

This is one of those days i felt really bad, really really feel like just letting the tears wash my face. Crying out all the pain, the sickness and anything that i'm unhappy about. I think i've been pushing myself very hard over the past 2 weeks. I've been studying almost everyday after school, till i sometimes get so little sleep and time for myself. It's time i learn to put things down and learn how to relax. But Chem test's on Wed, how can i relax, it's like my only chance to redeem myself from an U in Chem >< I really wanna do well even though my tutor isn't that fantastic >< Sometimes, i feel just so insecure and scared of losing things important to me, so much so that i didn't dare to do anything about it. Often, i ask myself why, but in the end find courage within to finally say it out. Everytime we touch, i get this feeling~

刮风这天我试过握着你手
但偏偏雨渐渐大到我看你不见
你知道你才是我的晴天吗？

-to be continued-

Labels: Sick