Yesterday, had MRC. Dropped dead when i reached home. Okay, for those who didn't go for cca, this is what happened-_-" Basically we set up the outdoor system and demolish it x2.. And have our mistakes corrected i guess. Was like perspiring all the way.. And so when i reach home i was like so drained. And the walk to MRT was like so funny tsk tsk.

And so i fell asleep soon after i finished my dinner which is kinda of unhealthy.

So today begins. Econs case study.. sigh.. Then PE, just train like dog and sit there stone-_-" The rest of the lessons were like pretty slack until H1 when he chionged through one whole annotation of the passage i guess.

This doesn't feel like it's home. Not a place where i feel comfortable in, of course i'm not trying to say comfortable literally, but it's like the sense of distant from this place where i once loved. Perhaps, it's the people living in it, i don't even feel like talking to them at all. Because I just don't know why, the more i talk to them, the more i don't feel like it's home. I just wanna shut myself out, disconnecting my room from the rest of the house, so that at least i could have a breather. So that at least, i've a private space where i could finally think through some stuff peacefully, some place where i can feel that i'm safe, and secure, a space i call a private space.

Perhaps, tonight i shouldn't have even talked. Shouldn't even have said anything to anybody. Perhaps, shouldn't even have on-ed msn, shouldn't even be here blogging. Just so many I should have not, but i think i've blown it all.

Somehow, I'm only reduced to this state when relationship between me and anyone else is concerned, other than that, i guess other things didn't pretty much matter, they are afterall just material goods. They are after all something that i can live on, something i can just use or perhaps enjoy. It's time for some time alone, till things get better that is..

And my life isn't called life, because i'm not living in it, i'm living without it......

My left eye continues to twitch even at this moment as i typed every letter, perhaps it's a signal that my world is coming to an end. That i should just drown myself with an overdose of mentos to treat my sore throat and an overdose of Anarex to treat the pain.. In my heart.

Forgive me, my weakness
but i don't know why.

Labels: Dead, Fatigue, Life, Weakness