I've been rather down today... Firstly 7 more days before the start of study leave. Somehow, my heart gets heavier by the day as the "end" approaches... Orh wells, had Thanksgiving and CCA commendation service.. It dragged on till about 2.45, which is like really way after our supposed dismissal time of 2.15, but anyways, it doesn't matter since this is going to be like one of the last chapels, perhaps in my life. So yeah, received my cert for cca... and... Well, when i was receiving it, some people in the midst of a crowd shouted wooooot,*her name* and worst of all, my mum was there.. Well, it doesn't matter if my mum knows about her, but still, it's embarrassing for her..I don't want her to drift away from me because of what other people are saying, not to mention being embarrassed in front of the whole level.. Then later on at the bus stop, it looks like her friends are making things difficult for her, i hope they would just stop, i couldn't stop it, i have to go, i need to restrain myself for that bit, that's just not the right moment to stop things.. If i walked up, i'm not even sure i will ever be able to see her again since my mum was there.. I wanted to apologize, for all these.. so i called her up, but apparently, she's sleeping.. Or maybe she's just trying to avoid me,perhaps, it's just a feeling. Either that or she's really tired. I really want to say i'm truly sry for all the times that i made things awkward even in front of your friends, your classmates, or even any stranger in this case... Why had all these happen? i think i could only blame myself for loving someone that doesn't love me back...

At this very moment, i'm thinking if i were to die tmrw, in 24hrs time, what would i do? How will i spend this last 24hours. I want to spend it with her, but normally, in school, just being together, because i want to believe that this isn't this end.. Come to think of it will i really do this at perhaps the last 24hours before the start of the study leave? Will i? i really dunno.


Does what other people say really matters?


7 days.

Labels: Uncertainty