I still ended up posting today lol. Somehow when smsing to Chloe, my phone shuts down by itself and is not able to start up until quite some time later.. After that i realised that the phone memory got 'burnt' or 'eaten up'. 1MB++ of my phone memory was lost. Actually that was nothing considering i have another 1 GB or so my Mini-SD. But to my horror, my memories are lost T_T.. My precious memories arh!!-.- Actually nothing much to you who are reading this but it meant a lot to me lorh.>< Before that blackout, i had 1.4k of sms inside my inbox but now i'm left with 200++.. Those contain the most precious memories that carried me through the past 2 years.. Sigh now that it's gone, is it a signal that i should forget about it and move on? Or did heaven's will meant that i would have a new beginning? I seriously have no idea. Confused feelings starts to invade me.. The 200+ left are the happier memories so i guess it fated that i forget those painful ones. Maybe i should let fate decide since the service learning schedule will be out soon..

I don't know why, but recently, i've been spoiling quite a lot of stuff, firstly my com now my phone.. And somemore, i didn't really do much to them one lorh! Is like i never even touch them or what then they spoil.. Have been down on luck, very... Getting injured / spoiling things every other day seems to be a part of my life already. I don't like them, neither the confused feelings that never really leave me. Hope things go for a change soon enough since my birthday is coming.. I won't want things to spoil on my birthday, definitely not, neither do i want to be confused again, cause i hope that on that day, i will be able to shout it out loud the 3 words that i've been wanting to say to her.. Ohh, give me courage someone, give me a chance girl.. Only then, i think my life would change for the better. For now, i think i will just try to stay out of trouble for a bit.

The heaviest rain that i found myself caught in was when i woke up and realised you were no longer by my side. Though it was sunny, but to me, tears became raindrops. I never hated you, at the same time, i hope you don't. I longed to hold you in my arms, not out of lust, but out of love, making sure that you will never leave me again. Forgive me for the wrong that i've done just like the blackout that happened on my phone, though i know it's nearly impossible but i hope that one day it might happen.

Ok, this is for real, tmr's really the exam already, so i will be busy and stuff, don't expect posts much though occasional ones i might still be able to handle. So, Sa-yo-nara.

Labels: A Newer Beginning?