Yesterday, had E.Maths exam. Couldn't even finish the last question even though i knew how to do it. I KNOW HOW LORH, just that i panicked.-.- Things go wrong when you panic.. You couldn't even find a way to calm yourself down and start thinking when this kind of situation happens.

Service Learning results came out. I give up. Looks like neither fate nor luck wants us to be together. The more i tried, the more i deviate away from her. I was posted to.. Children Society in Chua Chu Kang-.-.. It would probably take me an hour++ to get there from my house..

Morning, my father asked me what i wanted for my birthday. Actually, there isn't anything materialistic that i wanted. Not like what, mp3, ipod or anything like that. But what i want is something which he can't give it to me. I want freedom but most importantly, i want her to be with me, to be by my side. Thinking of it makes me wanna cry. Because he wants to give me so much, yet there's nothing he can do about it. It's just like how i felt. I wanted so much to give to her but yet i can't do anything for her. I felt so useless.

I think this birthday will be my sad-dest one even though is the 16th because it feels so different. So different from the ones i've passed. It's no longer the same cause I'm heart-broken.

Looking at my face reminds me of something. These little red dots on my face started appearing themselves last year when i tried to chiong a priest account over a few nights consecutively last year. I think i stayed up till 4am or sth.. Just so that i could make it before her birthday to some levels, but when i gave it to her, she didn't even go in once. I did so much yet that's all i receive. Ignorance from her. I'm saddened larh! She said she won't forget my birthday, i'm not so sure this time, but at least, i don't want her to ignore me, even a simple birthday wish is enough to make me better.

Oh yar and one more thing. I find that the school's way having too much crappy rules already. What we must have one-arm's length away from each other between opposite gender. That's insane larh-.-.. I mean is like this kind of thing is also his business meh? Somemore, the school starts at 7:20am, but then at 7:10am, we were scolded for not going to the assembly area. wth larh. Seriously, I missed Ms Lim man-.- Even though she may nag, but at the very least, she don't come up with ridiculous expections of us.

Let's see. To All: Stop saying i emo lorh, i just kind of got burnt out. T.T I slept at 11pm everyday or even later and somemore got what exam, morning got lessons, afternoon got exam, night come back so tired already lorh. I just want my beauty sleep >.< And i'm gonna have it now, but sadly tmr still got oral, *damn*.

Labels: Birthday, Burnout