If there's that glimpse of hope, we'll keep on hoping, hoping that light would keep us warm, that hope would keep us strong.

Hope is such a scary thing. It sometimes drives a person, sometimes it gives false hopes and drives them to desperation. Have you ever have that dropping feeling? Like your heart just died when you've been hoping for something to happen. I think TOO many times, my heart dropped, over and over again, so much so that I rather adopt a pessimistic point of view towards subject matters so I won't be disappointed.

I was reading this board thing when I was all lonely on in MRC room on Wed. Life's like a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs. Without them, life wouldn't have much excitement, or something along those lines. I guess I'm done with all the downs and it's time for all of the ups to come. Maybe, I'll forget about you and maybe move on. I don't know, I do want to know how you feel about me, but I don't want to ruin anything. So, maybe I'll just shut up and move on, since pondering over it doesn't very much help. All these just maybe. If something's meant to be, it will be. The j1s are so scandalous and I do hope that he who resembles me in experiences do not follow in what I do and cherish people and the time he has to make things happen. A little will turn into something more soon, be sure.

I guess the J1s are pretty much stable and it's time to let go, albeit there are still some retards who flashes the green light during morning assembly and forgot to toggle back to video, but that's besides the point. I guess I'll make one last visit on Mon for chapel and that's about it. I think I keep things that remind me of people close to me. Like how I still have this packet of drink that my Chem teacher gave to me on my table to remind me to work hard. I used the strap that the J1s gave us, only cause that's prob the only thing that connects us now. I hold on to things too tightly that I forgot how to let go.

I hate people who lie, but ironically, I'm a good liar myself, largely due to a lack of emotions. I guess I hate myself too.

The weather's so cold that I can't feel my fingers, you're so cold that I can't feel my heart.

Sometimes, I wonder if people really do hate me so much.