Monday
Last chapel was memorable. Of locked doors, power failures, off beat band and epic blatant staring at someone. Continual bugging of CCS teacher to teach them how to use the lights in LT4. Though I know I shouldn't discriminate against people from China, but I really can't stand them. Request upon request; I'm not even suppose to do it. Little words, much to be said.

Random things
These few days have been spent trying to restore the room back to the status when our seniors handed over to us. Fixing the internet, the sound system in the room, it's the best I can do already. Tuition at 7 was so bad that I probably stoned through everything. Sigh, school really drains the life out of me. Package was so not worth reading, boring, useless whatever you call it and so I hope I pass my package test lol. My house T-shirt was so ugly and I really don't see the point of buying a shirt that you're just only going to wear once. I think I have 10,000 school shirts in my wardrobe, being in AC just makes you feel the need to buy more shirts and start to become more pro AC. Maybe it's the family effect, though I really don't feel that the school's that close to my heart.

Handover
Bipolar much about letting go of everything. I was telling Cheryl how it feels like mixing a band, there's sound coming out from everything, but it wasn't a good mix. I'm so happy that it's no longer my responsibility to go to the room everyday, no longer the need to feel sick because it feels like I'm the only one who cares, but I think it's not so easy to let go of something that you've been trying to hold on to for so long. I think yesterday was the most embarrassing day of my life T.T Sometimes, I have so much to say that I can only say so much, because well, sitting at home and thinking is different from saying it out. I think my juniors are this cute bunch of people, I really don't know how to put certain things across. 14th MRC Crew was the bomb and I meant it when I said I wouldn't have stayed on if not for them. Lots to say to them ): I think I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms from MRC.

Handover to Rebekah was a bit out of expectations, to her at least. Hope she's fine with it and all. After all, it wasn't something that she wanted. Sigh, I feel damn bad, because they got us stuff, but we didn't get anything for them, but it was a whole 18 of them vs 7 of us. D:

Kevin was particularly sad. Kah Hong was flustered. Rong Hao was sjp. Chee An is scary. Tim was disappointed. I think they are quite sad people and I do feel for them, maybe I should get Kevin something. Really hope he could cheer up and forget all about those exclusions and stuff. I mean I could understand how he feels at this moment in time, after trying so hard and yet.

Today
Mohd had this sudden realisation I'm wasn't taking over ZL as a VP and I'm just a secretary whose supposed to be doing admin work and not saikang for him, like not even supposed to be keeping the equipments in order. Damn win, sigh. Maybe this is why his been bugging me all along. -gasp- Then again, I realised that his staying in this school probably was because of the medical condition he had, that it was

Lit was thought provoking. EkaT was like saying how identity is either formed by self or subjected to what people think and when you don't have a sense of who you are or don't have any solid identity, you are just trying to fulfill what other people think of you and hence people become fragmented, in literal terms, go mad. I think identity problems might be what I've been facing all along, like where do I really belong. I'm supposed to base my identity on who I think I am, but I'm like only trying to please everyone. He also said many people with depression don't see the point in life. So someone asked, so sir what's the point in life? Then he said the point in life actually depends on where you're coming from. Like, if you believe in the afterlife, then religion will provide a point in life. If you see life as the need to enjoy, then your point in life is to seek enjoyment to the best of your capabilities. HAHA, I don't really see the point in life now, really. Although it's a bit sad but apparently everyone's purpose in this college is perhaps to get into uni and ultimately get a job. I don't really see my point in life right now. D: It's like so far away and I think at this rate, I'm just wasting my life away ): Sigh, it's like watching my life spiraling away, what's left of my youth slowing fading away and yet not doing a thing about it. I booked a consultation slot with EkaT. OMG SO EXCITING. LIKE CONSULTATION OF THE CENTURY .

Someone was incredibly cute today. "I'm going to UK!!! !!!" LOLOL. Seriously wonder what drives her to be all cheery everyday.

And I thought the reality is it's goodbye to you. I don't think I could make anything happen anymore, not anymore. I'm probably just a passing cloud in your life and the sky's so big I really don't have much significance in your life.