I think as the June hols come to an end, I get increasingly angst, partly because I've been trying to do something for myself but somehow couldn't. I was attempting to do my Periodicity Tut but ended up bejeweling my life away. I haven't like... play it for like months already but.. somehow. Sigh. But even though, I've been playing, but I haven't been playing playing. My mind's been thinking about other stuff at the same time when I was well clicking away. I've been pondering over the 1 hour conversation with Mr Yap. I get increasingly scared because I don't know what I'm heading towards, I don't really know what I want to do with my life and it's something forlorn enough for me to be sitting here and typing about it. I can't sleep tonight again, sigh. Maybe, it's the tea. No, it's just I can't get my mind off certain things. I've come to think maybe I just don't know what I'm doing with my life and sometimes I can be childish like RFT, maybe wanting everything to go your way? But who doesn't right? I get really pissed off at people who treats me like a kid sigh. The thought of going through As and stuff makes me feel as though I'm drowning, like right now and I can't see the light, what's gonna become of me. It seems to impossible that I'm able to do well at As and an average Bs is almost beyond my reach. I mean how many Bs have I saw in my entire JC life? Probably just 1?... I'm so dead T.T -angst-

Fathers' Day lunch buffet + Steamboat Dinner buffet makes me bloated and just get sick of food already. I need to work out more because at this rate I'm gonna grow fat ): and there's napfa still, I'm going to fail it again, sigh -angst-.

I was listening to my grandfather talking to my parents about like my mum's brother's child going for swimming classes at the age of 1+ or something. I think stress has built up upon the society to do well in life, in education that it starts so early into childhood that there is no longer a childhood left in people. I think Singapore might turn into Japan one day. But now that I'd turn back and look, if I had a choice when I was young, I want to take up piano ): Idk, maybe guitar too D: I want to learn many many things, because it seems that when you're a child, that's when you're not preoccupied by work and thoughts and what nots that you have the kind of free time to pick up new things? I think picking up new things from now on will be hard, it's like the will in the heart kept drowning in its own weariness.
I think everyone have their own secrets? Though I never quite realise there are like 3 kinds of them? I think there are things that I can't say even if I want to, it's best to be kept there and stay there no known. Guess it's better that way. I feel the need to tell someone something, but it's like I don't know where to start. Every night, I look upon the conversation and thought maybe I should say it, but it spoils the friendship.