ob·ses·sion
–noun
1.the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

Fire drill was epic fail, with a class sitting by the bleachers waiting for the alarm to go off and went screaming and shouting when the alarm rang. Unofficial CCA was very much spent fixing stuff that very well doesn't work. Ceiling dust into the eye was a pain in the eye, literally. Stings till this morning. Trying to act like I'm sleeping when I'm actually listening to the juniors' discussion about fun, laughter and joy. Accidental top for econs was so uncalled for and how ironic she scolded me for being the bottom of the class for drawing the circular flow of income the previous round. Accidental stares in the direction you happen to walk by (or maybe not so accidental). Just don't get what's with my constant unhealthy obsession. I need to get over it.

Love because you love and not because of a reason, because when the reason's gone, you'll love no more.

Someone once told me that and honestly, I'm really lost right now. You make me smile for no reason what so ever, you make me laugh at the unfunniest things, but most of all you make me like you when I shouldn’t be. Did you ever realise that?

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

I don't know if I really did send out any signals but, whatever it is, it's not a positive response. And whatever that means, I really don't know. Maybe if never giving up hope will bring me through, I will. Chloe keeps telling me cheer up and then I realised you know that in itself is giving hope.

Don’t you hate it when people make a joke about you, about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about. And they don’t realise it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you’d rather forget. But you can’t say anything, because then people would know your weaknesses. They’d know how insecure you really are. So instead you just laugh it off, and hide the pain you feel inside.

I'm insecure about a lot of things and does that mean I'll hate a lot of people. Maybe just a little on everyone, maybe there's this part of me that says I hate you so much, or maybe it's just another way of saying I like you much more than hating you.

"Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop dwelling. I’m going to stop watching the phone. I’m going to stop looking for you. I’m going to move on. I’m going to meet people. I’m going to live. I’m going to forget all the nights I spent wishing you were here. I’m going to forget the times that it was just us. I’m going to forget the things that shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to forget all the times I opened myself up to let you in, to only get hurt in return. I’m going to forget how I felt about you. Instead, I’m going to subconsciously wait. If you really want me, if you miss me, if you can’t breathe without me, you’ll know. You’ll ring. You’ll text. You’ll visit. And if you drift, if you don’t call, if there’s no texts, if there’s no visits. I’ll know. I’ll know it was never meant to be. And I will continue moving on. And I’m going to walk tall. But in between everything I will forget, I won’t forget the lesson I’ve learned. I won’t forget the feeling of loving someone. I won’t forget the feeling of thinking I’m loved. And I will certainly not forget the hell I was put through to learn all this, to become a better person."

I certainly wish I could do that but I couldn't.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

I need someone to turn my life around to perhaps make me realise that all these are probably just surreal, just the act of perhaps one-sided, unknown whatever.

I'm getting increasingly irritated at Lit forum posts because I can't seem to squeeze anything out of my poor mind.

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