I haven't been blogging for the whole let's see 31 days excluding today? So, it's like a total of one month, one month...where has this one month gone to. I seriously don't know, probably the whole holiday has occupied half of it and the rest school. Didn't really wanna blog about my holidays because i dun have a life during the holidays... I just slack and slack and slack (mostly on the com)... Go out and walk and walk. Probably i was just doing this to tranqualise myself, it being a way to make myself not to think so much. Actually games, aren't really fun, afterall, if you played the games for too long, you might just end up getting bored of it. Afterall, i played games not for the fun of it but for the people in it. I've quitted Audition ever since i guessed, going back just brings back too much hurtful things.

Anyway, it's like i finally had the time to blog after school reopened cause it's like i didn't do my holiday homeworks, plus the hectic schedule and all. I've been sleeping late ever since. Now, it's work that tranquilise me i guess. Maybe that's the way i get around problems, just escaping from them since i couldn't find a way to solve them.

Now, now... It's time to start with recollections of events that took place this 2 days. Let's start with the History lesson today! My History teacher, whom i shall not name, started becoming random in class today and like disturbed almost everyone-.-... He like started saying out names, for e.g, How's so and so (a guy) and so and so (a girl) coming along. Then he start naming all the names-.-... Like wth.. I was like the neutral party, just kept quiet throughout, then i sat down there looking at him with the O.o face. Then he was like Zhi Hua and ** ***. Then itoo stunned for words. Just how the hell do a teacher know so many things? Maybe he has a rapport (correct spelling?) with the students in the school but then i also never even offend him in anyway or whatsoever, why do he have to...>.< Maybe his trying to show his understanding of the students' personal lives respectively... After all his not just a teacher, but a pro PI lol! ***** ***, you can be a PI if u decides to quit teaching as a career=X

These days, i've been finding myself taking chilli, things that are spicy. Anything from sambal chilli to wasabi-.-... I'm starting to feel crazy, every single time trying to kill myself with an overdose of chilli. Afterall, when i end up wet in the face, i could always comfort myself, it's because of the chilli. It's a huge transition to me because i hated chilli when like just few months back-.-... I mean it doesn't really make sense to take something that will burn you and make you feel like hell, but anyway i still did it just to give myself another excuse, one in which to convince myself of another reason to tear.

Our principal talked to us about blogging and all this Mon. He said something like don't criticise people, if not lead to ... but anyways i will still do it but then i shall censor the names when it become too sensitive and if the initials fit your name, don't be scare unless you really did it lawl!

Sian 1/2, today had like 'O' levels Chinese Oral. Topic was Raising prices of neccessity.-.-... It was the hardest topic so far and i think i didn't do well. But anyways, what's done cannot be undone, but what awaits us is the undone. I could still remember what was happening to her last year when she took her Chinese 'O' Levels, she fell sick like dew days consecutive to the point she got to go Tiong Bahru Examination Centre to take her 'O' levels chinese oral. Somehow, if i've let go of all this i would have forgotten about this but, still... I knew taht she was very sick but all i could do then was to say "take cares" upon "take cares", now it's like my turn to take my 'O' levels and yes i'm having a sore throat o.o... But the difference is that i'm now alone without her having the same concerns over me jsut as i did. Of course, i guessed this is not something that you can expect that you get the same returns for the amount you've given.

--->=implies
Had a random conversation with some classmates on msn. Well, then someone suddenly said that they were gossiping in HCL class. W0W, like right in my face, telling me that they are gossiping abt me in HCL class-.-... I mean Christainty taught that gossiping are bad or whatsoever, but these teachings just doesn't seem to get into the heads of some people. Well to the contents of the gossips, she said,"I rather let her win Zhi Hua". I mean like W0W X 2, right in my face again-.- --->she doesn't like me (anymore)---> She will thinks that i've a change of heart---> She will proceed on with life w/o having to feel guilty or whatsoever---happy ending for her and sad ending for me. Well, i guessed everything goes very well with my plan, with people who can't keep their mouths shut after reading my blog posts, it will naturally or somehow or rather get to her ears... *Part of the reason why i left that post up there for 1 month* =X Maybe that should be included in "One of my reasons to close/privatise my blog" But somehow, when i heard that it was like salt to my wounds, thought i somewhat or rather expected all these events, but it just HURTs!!! Yes, maybe because of the fact that she still and just doesn't believe that i love her. " I don't like Emo "By her again. Maybe one of another reasons to make her feel less guilty, according to her, guilty is something that she WAS carrying, but just what are you guilty for when i didn't even blame you for any BLOODY thing?!? It's not even your fault larh dammit-.- Plus, you think the Zhi Hua used to be is emo?! No right?! i'm not even emo until things started happening.


After I keep looking through the papers (my mind), it's "i love you" that i'm holding on to and not "everything's fine"


I walked and walked this road of life, only to find that i'm just like a butterfly, fluttering aimlessly as the winds blows. Maybe not a butterfly, but a moth, cause i'm not as colourful as a butterfly.

**Side Note-So much for 28 sigh, *****, gd luck with 28 haha=P You know i'm talking to you =P

Labels: Forgetting, Truth, Uncertainty